Of Bored Thestrals and Gravity Checks
by rhead-a-holyc
Summary: Before his interest in Muggles, Arthur had another job in mind. That had been before his sanity had been thrown into question.


His scream cut through the air, and Arthur didn't care about the fact that he had rendered half the alley silent. The fact that he was staring fearfully at what looked to everyone else like an empty space didn't stop him from pointing a finger at the space before him in warning.

"You can talk?!"

The fact that he was a teenager, and he could see his friends staring at him curiously didn't deter him in the slightest. Arthur was certain that any of them would react similarly if they were put into the same situation he was in at that moment. Stunned laughter threatened to spill from his lips, but Arthur knew that would only make him look crazier.

He definitely didn't need anyone questioning his sanity. Not yet at least. He still hadn't been on his first date, and Arthur _definitely_ didn't want to be written off as too insane to date. He'd heard that some girls liked crazier guys, though...

The creature tilted its skeletal head to the side and snorted into Arthur's face. "Of course. How else would I communicate? Interpretive dance? Or perhaps you'd favour the idea of sign language?"

Arthur shook his head, eyes still wide as he took in the black form of the creature he had only ever seen before within Hogwarts grounds, pulling the carriages to and from the castle. He had never thought of the possibility that they ventured beyond Hogwarts grounds.

He had never heard of Thestrals being able to talk! All they had ever done before was _snort_ … Arthur had a sinking suspicion that the Thestrals could be listening to their conversations within the carriages and laughing at them. There were hundreds of students within Hogwarts who couldn't even _see_ the Thestrals, only feel that there was another invisible body there when they bumped into them.

They would be the perfect spies. What if they _were_ spies?

"You're a spy!" Arthur yelled, taking several steps backwards and nearly tripping in the process. The witch who had been strolling behind the Thestral gasped, believing Arthur was talking to her, before her eyes widened at the multitude of people who had turned to stare at her. She hurried out of sight as the Thestral snorted again, blowing Arthur's hair away from his face.

"Some of the others may be, I don't know, but I'm too lazy for such things," the Thestral informed Arthur, collapsing to sit on the cobblestone of Diagon Alley. His leg twitched out every once in a while to trip an unsuspecting patron.

"You're too lazy for that, but you're all the way here…?"

"I'd have you know, boredom _does_ overcome laziness every once in a while. There are only so many times you can trip a wizard, snort at a witch, or war-cry into a common room. Let me tell you, running through ghosts are the absolute _worst_. They make my bones feel like they've been tossed into the Antarctic ocean," the Thestral said, sighing at the reminder of the last time he had attempted that.

"The Antarctic…"

"C'mon Arthur! Your mother's going to be furious if we don't finish our shopping because you want to talk to the Knockturn Alley _sign_."

Arthur was dragged away from the resting Thestral, "But…"

"Don't worry, wizardling. I'll find you tomorrow. You amuse me," the Thestral called back, yawning as it tripped a pompous-looking wizard who didn't manage to catch his balance quickly enough. "Ah, gravity still works."

Arthur glared at the Thestral. He had been reduced to _amusement_ for a _Thestral_. The only positive that Arthur could think of was the fact that he hadn't been the one to be tripped whenever the Thestral had felt the slightest hint of boredom.

Still, he wasn't looking forward to seeing that Thestral again. He certainly wasn't going to leave home until Hogwarts started to deter the Thestral at least slightly.

When Arthur woke the next day to see a Thestral floating at his window, he pulled his blankets back over his head and acted like he was still asleep. He hoped the Thestral got bored with him soon, or Arthur was sure he was never going to make it to Hogwarts in one piece. He'd either be mauled by a bored Thestral for amusement, or jinxed by his mother for leading a Thestral to their home (even if it was not at all his fault!).

He vowed to take up safer hobbies if he did. Arthur couldn't see running around after magical animals (as exciting as that had always sounded) in his future anymore, especially when there was a chance for them to randomly start talking to him.

Muggles sounded like a safe enough topic.

At least they were _supposed_ to talk.

* * *

 **Written for Mystery Competition: Arthur Weasley; Fantasy; Humour**


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